So I am brand new to this blogging thing. I have never really had time to breathe, let alone spend anytime writing about my life. I have always wanted to, but more than 5 hours of sleep was more of a priority. In the last few months I have been going thru HUGE changes. I helped my husband recover from back issues, One of my kids was in the hospital for a week, I lost an organ, We did a major renovation on a house, We went on TWO vacations, I quit my job, I was a nurse for my son after he had major surgery, I planned a party for 250 people and I lost 35 pounds / 5 sizes - whew! I kind of think of it as my "mid-life" crisis, although I hope to live much older than 70. I usually send out a Christmas Year in Review letter to Family and Friends, I was much too busy to do that in 2012. I am going to do it here and that should pretty much bring everything up to speed.
2012 was a very difficult year for our family.
In February, James, hurt his back at the gym. Doing a dead(-man) lift! Can you hear the contention in my voice? He was literally a dead man for at least 2 days, before he got out of bed and tried to function. That man is so funny. I married him for his ability to make me laugh, he is one of those people that is naturally hilarious. More about that talent of his later. He was really struggling with severe back pain. The only reason he finally got out of bed was because he had to go to work. James is a Police Officer. He is currently assigned to the section that handles all the cases at the college. He works on Sundays and since the college is closed on Sundays they only have one cop work each shift that day. So basically calling in sick on a Sunday is NOT AN OPTION. He went to work and thought he would be okay. He was not okay. He ended up having to use a rolling desk chair to get himself in the building. Wouldn't that be a funny sight to see? I wish I could have! Anyways, he ended up seeking some help from medical professionals. It turns out he really did hurt his back. I am probably going to get this mixed up but he had a total of 3 bad discs. I think 2 ruptured and 1 herniated, or the other way around. With his job- this situation was something that could not be ignored. We looked into all the options that we could find. Surgery statistics were horrible, only about 25% of patients with the same issues were permanently fixed after the surgery. Ultimately, he chose to go thru spinal decompression. It's kind of one of those voodoo- wierdo things, but it healed him. It was very expensive both in money (could have bought a new car expensive) and time commitment, but he can move! He made a pact with me that he is NEVER to complain about back pain around me again. I make sure I remind him of that pact anytime I feel he is going to complain.
In March, I received a phone call from the staff at the care facility that our oldest son, Riley lives at. I was at work. It was a call that you never want to receive. Riley had a seizure, it lasted a very long time and the paramedics were called and he is in route to the hospital. At that time, I was working two days a week for five hours each day, so a total of 10 hours a week. Riley has had epilepsy for the past six years. I have spent many hours sitting in the hospital with him waiting for seizures, stitches, staples, xrays, ct scans & anything else you can think of. As pathetic as it sounds I really hate being at the hospital. I only had 2 more hours until I was off work, so I figured I would just drive down to the hospital after I got off. I received two more phone calls from his caregivers over the next 20 or so minutes. The last call that I got was from the staff member that was with him when he had the first seizure. She told me all the details, it was a 20 minute seizure and he did stop breathing while the paramedics were there. I asked her if she thought I should come to the hospital immediately and she replied, "Yes". I about lost it. The 50 minute drive to the hospital was hell. I have accepted the fact that one day, this will be my reality. I will get a call from the facility telling me that Riley is gone. I was not sure if this was going to be that day. He ended up spending 5 days at the hospital before they were able to get his seizures under control. It was a blessing in disguise, like most things with him are. During his stay the medical team was able to really brainstorm his situation and they tweaked and adjusted his medications. His behavior greatly improved as a result of that hospital stay.
 |
| The staff knew it was our anniversary so they decorated our room while we were at Dinner. |
In April, James and I had the very best time EVER! We went to an all inclusive resort in the Mayan Riviera in Mexico (just south of Cancun). We went to El Dorado, SeaSide Suites. It is one of the top most romantic resorts in the world. It did not disappoint. We will go back again. I will write more about that at some other time. A few of the days that we were in paradise, I could not get out of bed. I had been having pain on my left side since at least January. I am busy and I never take the time to go to the doctor. During this wonderful trip, James realized that I was in a lot of pain.
When we got back from Mexico, James made me go to the Doctor. We found out that I had a growth on the left side attached to my left ovary. I ended up having to have surgery to remove the growth on May 30, 2012. The growth was tangled around my left ovary and fallopian tube so they ended up having to remove my ovary & tube. I was very mad! That was probably understated. It took about a week to find out my biopsy results. It was all clear. I did not have cancer. I had been stressed & feeling so sorry for myself. The growth was actually scar tissue from my c-section incisions. Riley was breech 17 years ago when I had him, so I didn't have a choice of having a c-section at that time. It was have a c-section or die. Tough choice huh? It took me about 6 weeks or so to recover from my surgery. The scar tissue was so infested in my insides, that instead of the two 2 inch incisions, I was promised, I ended up having four 2 inch incisions as well as a an incision in my belly button. I view this as having another c-section without getting to bring home a cute baby. Did I mention I was mad about the whole thing? My husband said that I was nice again, after about two weeks. I apparently had not been being too nice to him, even though I was being a lot nicer to him than I wanted to be.
 |
| Gwenee's First Day of 2nd Grade |
We have a rental house. The tenants that lived in that house moved out, after living there for 9 years. Needless to say it needed a complete re haul. That is pretty much what we spent the summer doing. We took both bathrooms and most of the kitchen down to the studs. It is really fun to see the transition from crap to gold, but if you are doing the work you begin to hate the house. It turned out great and we have a nice family living in the home. But again, we spent the whole summer working on that house.
 |
| Bryken's First Day of 1st Grade |
In the fall, Bryken our youngest (6 1/2) started 1st grade. It was a strange adjustment. Gwen started 2nd grade. She has grown tremendously in the last year, not only physically but she has matured. She is really helpful and pretty much understands how things work. Bryken, has complained about getting up & being at school too long, blah, blah, blah. I am hoping he will like 2nd grade next year & maybe this is just a transition time for kids, since Gwen was the same way last year? Riley, started his Junior year. That is crazy to think! He was placed with a new teacher at East High School, and she is so great. She has really tried to figure him out and he loves and adores her. Riley lives in Salt Lake City, in an intermediate care facility for the mentally retarded (ICF/MR). He is a lot to deal with. He has been living in the care facility since August 2010. It was a really difficult decision but everything was on the line when he went there. What I mean by that is, that after dealing with his needs for 15 years straight - both James & I were exhausted. At any given moment we were not in our right minds and the smallest of things could have caused one of us to lose the tiny bit of self control that we had left - and do something, that in our right minds we never would have done. I am amazed we handled him as well as we did. Riley is in the best possible place for his needs. He has staff that he greatly enjoys. They are able to teach him to do things that I had given up on years ago. Please don't judge us, I seriously do not know anybody that could have survived taking care of Riley as long as we have. It is kind of the best of both worlds. We go get him & he is so excited to see us. We get to spend good times with him and then we take him back and they get to deal with the crap (literally). I will talk more about Riley's challenges in the future.
In September we took Riley to see an orthopedic doctor at Primary Children's Hospital. His epilepsy has caused him to walk on the outer sides of his feet instead of the bottoms. The Doctor said his condition has gotten worse and that we probably should perform surgery shortly or the damage will be irreversible and he would more than likely end up confined to a wheelchair very soon. Riley is naturally, very mobile and he would not do well not being mobile. We scheduled the surgery for right after Thanksgiving. So he would miss the least amount of school possible.
 |
| Disneyland! Bryken, Grandpa & Gwen |
In November, two weeks before Riley's surgery we took a trip to Disneyland with all my siblings (well my brother didn't go but his wife and daughter did) . I have a brother who lives about 20 miles away from me and one sister in Texas and one sister in Montana. My parents paid for the trip for all of us, we just had to pay for our food and souvenirs. We left Riley at the care facility, because taking him to Disneyland is miserable. We have taken him 4 times in his life AND we think that is plenty. Gwen and Bryken loved every second of Disneyland. They are really good kids. It was a great trip and it was nice to get to see my sisters and their kids. It was nice to go on a "normal" vacation with my own children.
 |
| Riley eating right after surgery |
|
Riley had his surgery. They did both of his feet at the same time. The left foot was really bad. The ended up cutting some of his bone out and then they had to adjust 30 something ligaments. On his right foot they adjusted the ligaments but did not have to cut out any of his bone. They had scheduled 2 1/2 hours in the operating room but ended up going about 4 1/2 hours. The doctor said it was much more complex then he had thought it would be. We spent the first night in the hospital and it was awful. Riley had a good deal of pain meds and I don't think he was really feeling a thing. We brought him home and he stayed with us for the first 10 days following his surgery. I was nervous to take him back but he was just as excited to go back as we were to have him go back. It was a really good experience for us to have Riley home again for awhile. I think that Bryken has always kind of had some resentment towards Riley. This time was good for them to have some bonding time. Bryken got to really know Riley and I think their relationship has been strengthened. It is not easy and Riley is still recovering. Everyday he gets a little bit better, but over the last few months I have again spent way too much time at the hospital.
 |
| Riley's Left Foot- a month after the surgery |
In December I was responsible for our wards, Church Christmas party (about 250 people). It was a really great gift for me to be able to spend my time thinking about the party instead of thinking about the things in my life that I have no control over. I am so grateful that my church leaders were inspired to ask me to oversee the party, I really do not know how I would have made it thru the sleepless hours caring for Riley, if my mind didn't have something else to focus on. I was given some great go to people that really are wonderful at making things happen. Normally I am the kind of person that likes to do things myself (then I can guarantee they are done right), but I think I also learned that having other people involved really is a good thing too! It was a fun experience and I hope that the members of my ward enjoyed it.
 |
| Elf and Sparkle- Got Caught Holding Baby Jesus |
I really wanted to make Christmas special for my other kids this year so we adopted two "elves on a shelf". The boy is named Elf, and the girl is Sparkle. It was very memorable and the kids are still talking about them. It was really fun seeing all the naughty things those silly elves do. After being employed with the same company for 13 and a half years, I quit my job right before Riley's surgery and I really do not know how I even had time to work.
 |
| Trying to get House Organized |
I go to bed late and I wake up early and I still can't get everything on my to do list done. I am learning what is important. Everyday I feel like I am getting some clarity on what is important. I am trying to get my house in order. It was something that I never had the time or energy to do in the past. I think I have always just been in survival mode, I feel like maybe now - I have the capacity to really find myself and who I am supposed to be.
Even if it is JustABusyWifeAndMom!
Kristy
